Female Population: Please Let Us Hit On You At Starbucks And The Gym.

Female Population: Please Let Us Hit On You At Starbucks And The Gym.

The Geneva Convention, The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the 10 Ten Commandments, the list goes on. All are extremely important documents that have shaped this great nation we call home. USA! USA! USA! I propose a new document. I present to you "The Male/Female Coffee + Gym Agreement." Or, the TMFCGA. Side note: 'hitting on you' has such a negative connotation. I'm not Floyd Mayweather (too soon?). I think it implies a sweaty dude walking up and saying incredibly stupid shit. For the sake of making my argument, let's just call it starting a conversation you didn't think you would have that day. Proceed. I'm sure you can guess what the agreement states for the most part. I'll provide the hard hitting facts of what led me to this groundbreaking document. I'm 28, single, and in that weird phase where some of my friends are getting married and having kids, some are still blacking out 2-3x a week, and some are floating around the ocean shooting lip...
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Mrs. Right or Mrs. Tonight…

Mrs. Right or Mrs. Tonight…

Editors Note: Often times friends or random's say something along of the lines of "I'd love to write stuff for NoPantsToWork." I usually say, "great, send it on over." Rarely do people actually follow through. This was written by a friend who I would classify as a very level headed, normal nice guy. Enjoy! I am a guy who has dated my fair share of women, but at this point in my late twenties, I am absolutely ready to settle down when the right girl comes along. Most weekends, I go out to bars and clubs in search of Mrs. Right, optimistic that I will find the girl who has everything I look for. I will often find my “girl du jour”, feel things out for a month or three, and then inevitably determine that she is not “marriage material”. While I admit that I am extremely picky, I also believe it is within my rights. After all, I am looking for the woman with whom...
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Live Life to the Fullest…but like, for real.

Live Life to the Fullest…but like, for real.

Who doesn't love a good cliche? Live life to the fullest. We hear it plenty. I usually think something along the lines of "yea yea yea, ok I get it." Well, a few weeks ago I took a trip down to Ft. Lauderdale to visit my 2 grandmothers. It was shocking, depressing, wonderful, and a pretty big eye opener. One Grandmother, Grandma Cynnie (Cynthia) is 87, all there mentally, but has steadily deteriorated physically since I last saw her. She walks with a cane, and one of her medications gives her difficulty breathing. Upon seeing me (mind you, for the first time in a while), she hysterically cried, which in turn caused me to cry hysterically get lots of dust in my eye. It's upsetting to see someone completely "with it" mentally, but trapped and confined by their body slowly breaking down on them. *Editors note: Cynnie hadn't seen me since I lost about 35lbs of weight and about 10% body fat....
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Girl, I wanna text you up

Girl, I wanna text you up

Here's a little mood music to listen to while reading this post. The sweet sensual sounds of Color Me Badd. It's also the inspiration for the title. Allow me to introduce you to the most terrifying symbol of our generation. Whether you're texting someone you are interested in, someone you are friends with, a co-worker, a boss, a family member, anyone... the above image holds so much weight and meaning it's absurd. If you don't have an iPhone...welp, you've got bigger problems. Technology and social media have made communication easier, but way more exhausting. See, even Drew Barrymore agrees. If you are texting with someone you are interested in, it can be nerve-racking enough without the 3 dots. You used to send something and wait with anxiety for a response. Now, you not only wait for a response, but you have the ability to see if they are typing? "Holy shit, they're actually responding. Why are they taking so long? Why am I watching 3...
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Timing is Errrrrrrrrthang

Timing is Errrrrrrrrthang

If there is one central thesis or thought I have learned the last 18-months or so it is this. Whether we're talking about life, love, work, sports, whatever... TIMING IS EVERYTHING. I came across this article by Mark Manson about a year ago and although saying it changed my life might be a stretch...it's pretty close. Certainly changed my perspective on stuff. It helps solve the grey areas of life, love, work, etc. Now, while I agree with about 99% of Mark's article, we're all human, grey exists. Whether you choose to remove yourself from the grey area is up to you..but, regardless, it exists. What I've come to find is that the grey area exists in large part due to timing. In regards to love: Dating is tough. The idea of combining your life with someone else and making it work seems virtually impossible sometimes. Think about the timing it takes for that to work. First off, you both have to be...
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Stuff You Mighta Missed

There's lots of stuff floatin' around the Internet these days. Plenty of it sucks. But, every now and then some awesomeness appears. Here's a few Internet morsels of goodness you might have missed. 1) This is straight out of an SVU or Dateline episode. Two 12-year old girls are terrorized via social media by a classmate, or so they think. Computer hacking, angry parents, Instagram subpoenas, and some good ol' fashioned death threats. WARNING: This is long. Once you start you're going to want to finish it and you will probably be pissed off at the end. Enjoy! 2) This is a goosebump inducing video from the geniuses over at Air Jordan. Whether you hate sports, hate the Yankees, or are just a hater in general, you gotta respect Derek Jeter. Him and Tim Duncan are probably the last of a dying breed in the world of big business sports. I emailed this to my die hard Yankee fan parents. Response: "Gave me the chills....
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5 Instagram Accounts You Should Be Following…

WARNING: WORK PRODUCTIVITY WILL SIGNIFICANTLY DECREASE DURING AND AFTER THE READING OF THIS ARTICLE. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Instagram is tied with Twitter as my favorite social network these days because no one hits me up on MySpace and Facebook is like so totally 2000-and-late. Eh Fergie? I only use Facebook to remember birthdays and to find girls my friends meet at bars, and only get small amounts of information from. "Victoria Dancing Queen" was my most recent achievement. Victoria, if you're reading this, you're welcome. 1. Bacon The Piglet I never really thought pigs could be so cute. This account is amazing for a few reasons. The captions include a lot of clever pig puns. If you don't like an obvious joke or a good pun why don't you just move to Canada! The owner of Bacon just so happens to be smokin' hot and makes a cameo every now and then.The pig cuddles and acts like a dog, eats like a maniac,...
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Mom, Dad…Take Me Back!

Mom, Dad...I took you for granted. I took it all for granted. And now, I'm publicly asking you to take me back. I'll move back in, I'l be the best room mate ever, you won't even know I'm there. Please, PLEASE take me back. We're all stupid. Like, real dumb, myself included. What were we thinking? Moving out sounded so good. We had our freedom in college, we lived with friends, it was great. No way will I ever live with my parents again after college I thought. Then, I lived with them for almost 2 years, which at the time seemed like it was an eternity. UGH, it was TERRIBLE! My mom waited on me hand and foot, she cooked anything I wanted for me, it was like there was a 24/7 in-house laundromat, and everything was free. I repeat...IT WAS AWFUL I barely made it out of that 5-star resort alive. I've gotta get out of here. I can't take...
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Bras, What Are They Good For, Absolutely Nothin’

Here at NoPantsToWork we take on hard hitting news stories. Today, we discuss boobs, a.k.a. breasts, bosoms, tits, melons, jugs, sweater puppies, mounds, knockers, etc. While I don't like wearing pants and find them to be an unnecessary nuisance...girls feel similarly about bras from what I gather. Special thanks to the ladies who offered their opinion on the topic and helped write this. You wake up in the morning ready to attack the day. Everything is fine and dandy with your heavenly jugs tucked away nicely. The puppies look great today! You have a couple meetings and feel like a million bucks. Then it starts getting a little sweaty in there. Shit, the left one slipped out. Then, it's official...boob sweat. You hope no one notices...they probably don't...still, you nervously sweat away. Not only are you sweating - you realize that your luscious lady lumps are being smushed together. And suddenly, you're trapped. You can't breathe. WHO INVENTED THIS THING ANYWAY? In your head, you're doing this... ...but in reality,...
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MegaMillions, MegaAwesome

THE MEGAMILLIONS JACKPOT IS AN ESTIMATED 636 MILLION DOLLARS. Let me me say that again in case it didn't register. THE MEGAMILLIONS JACKPOT IS AN ESTIMATED 636 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!! The cash option is 341 million dollars. That's 341 with 6 zero's behind it. 341,000,000...man, that looks sweet. I'm a casual lottery player/gambler. A little sports betting, poker, some scratch-offs and the occasional lottery ticket. However, when the jackpot gets as high as it is currently, I can't stop day dreaming about how cool it would be to win, what I would do, how awesome I'd be at being filthy rich, and debating whether I'd actually have a heart attack after realizing I won. The part that really sucks, is, every time the jackpot gets this high, and I don't win, I get severely depressed for about an hour. I mean, I genuinely expect to win for a split second. Then, extreme disappointment. Do you know what you would do? Here are...
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