Here at NoPantsToWork we take on hard hitting news stories. Today, we discuss boobs, a.k.a. breasts, bosoms, tits, melons, jugs, sweater puppies, mounds, knockers, etc. While I don’t like wearing pants and find them to be an unnecessary nuisance…girls feel similarly about bras from what I gather. Special thanks to the ladies who offered their opinion on the topic and helped write this.

You wake up in the morning ready to attack the day.

Everything is fine and dandy with your heavenly jugs tucked away nicely. The puppies look great today!

You have a couple meetings and feel like a million bucks.

Then it starts getting a little sweaty in there.

Shit, the left one slipped out.

Then, it’s official…boob sweat.

You hope no one notices…they probably don’t…still, you nervously sweat away.

Not only are you sweating – you realize that your luscious lady lumps are being smushed together.

And suddenly, you’re trapped. You can’t breathe. WHO INVENTED THIS THING ANYWAY? In your head, you’re doing this…

…but in reality, you subtly tug on your bra and battle the world’s worst feeling, BACK FAT. #SEXY

You wiggle to fix it and end up looking like this. [CUE coworker stares]

You think to yourself…

FINALLY at 5 p.m. you make a break for it.

You drive like you’ve never driven before. Complete ninja focus.

You barely make it through your front door before you get straight to business.

You Tazmanian Devil your way outta your work attire. Who knows where everything landed…and who cares.

Because, it’s time. The moment you’ve been waiting 97 hours for. And in one swift motion…

 Complete and utter satisfaction.


According to the females who helped write this, boobs are quite the burden (apparently even for Victoria’s Secret Angels). Well try having something that hangs between your legs all day! JK, you guys give birth…you win. As usual, tell us all about your boob issues, or tell us how bad this post sucked, on Facebook and Twitter!

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