Timing is Errrrrrrrrthang

Timing is Errrrrrrrrthang

If there is one central thesis or thought I have learned the last 18-months or so it is this. Whether we're talking about life, love, work, sports, whatever... TIMING IS EVERYTHING. I came across this article by Mark Manson about a year ago and although saying it changed my life might be a stretch...it's pretty close. Certainly changed my perspective on stuff. It helps solve the grey areas of life, love, work, etc. Now, while I agree with about 99% of Mark's article, we're all human, grey exists. Whether you choose to remove yourself from the grey area is up to you..but, regardless, it exists. What I've come to find is that the grey area exists in large part due to timing. In regards to love: Dating is tough. The idea of combining your life with someone else and making it work seems virtually impossible sometimes. Think about the timing it takes for that to work. First off, you both have to be...
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Mom, Dad…Take Me Back!

Mom, Dad...I took you for granted. I took it all for granted. And now, I'm publicly asking you to take me back. I'll move back in, I'l be the best room mate ever, you won't even know I'm there. Please, PLEASE take me back. We're all stupid. Like, real dumb, myself included. What were we thinking? Moving out sounded so good. We had our freedom in college, we lived with friends, it was great. No way will I ever live with my parents again after college I thought. Then, I lived with them for almost 2 years, which at the time seemed like it was an eternity. UGH, it was TERRIBLE! My mom waited on me hand and foot, she cooked anything I wanted for me, it was like there was a 24/7 in-house laundromat, and everything was free. I repeat...IT WAS AWFUL I barely made it out of that 5-star resort alive. I've gotta get out of here. I can't take...
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Bras, What Are They Good For, Absolutely Nothin’

Here at NoPantsToWork we take on hard hitting news stories. Today, we discuss boobs, a.k.a. breasts, bosoms, tits, melons, jugs, sweater puppies, mounds, knockers, etc. While I don't like wearing pants and find them to be an unnecessary nuisance...girls feel similarly about bras from what I gather. Special thanks to the ladies who offered their opinion on the topic and helped write this. You wake up in the morning ready to attack the day. Everything is fine and dandy with your heavenly jugs tucked away nicely. The puppies look great today! You have a couple meetings and feel like a million bucks. Then it starts getting a little sweaty in there. Shit, the left one slipped out. Then, it's official...boob sweat. You hope no one notices...they probably don't...still, you nervously sweat away. Not only are you sweating - you realize that your luscious lady lumps are being smushed together. And suddenly, you're trapped. You can't breathe. WHO INVENTED THIS THING ANYWAY? In your head, you're doing this... ...but in reality,...
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Potty Mouth

While we haven't been immersed in Corporate America for almost a year now, this NPTW contributor has. He puts his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us but over time has meticulously cultivated a list of unique individuals that exist at most companies.  For those of you that, unfortunately, are forced by "the man" to wear pants to work, you have undoubtedly encountered various types of obnoxious work place behavior and stereotypes. On any given workday, we all come face to face with little annoyances, that when piled up, make you wanna go Office Space on your printer. People are weird, we get it, we're kinda weird too. But, today, we tip our caps to the lunatics who take social norms and etiquette to a whole new level. You've probably got nicknames for these people at your office. Pit-Stain Jerry, because even if it's 12-degrees outside, Jerry is hot like fire and dripping in sweat. Crying Sarah, who, just...
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The Hunger Games

With the 2nd installment of The Hunger Games opening this week I felt it was important to discuss a different kinda Hunger Games. Working in corporate america, at a publicly traded company, with lots of rules, policies, and politics taught me some things. My biggest takeaway? People behave like wild animals and get indescribably happy/excited over free food. I call this phenomenon...THE CORPORATE HUNGER GAMES! I'd be sitting at my desk, see I had a new email...and before I had time to check it, the sounds of a nearby stampede. It's like in Jurassic Park, when the T-Rex is approaching, and the glass of water starts trembling. What's going on? Is there a fire? "OMG, DID YOU NOT CHECK YOUR EMAIL?!" THERE IS FOOD IN THE BREAK ROOM! WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS OR HOW MUCH THERE IS BUT WE MUST PRESS ON! FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM." You can learn a lot about a person by how they act...
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Hey, What’s Your Major?

Katie is a 5th year senior currently finishing up her victory lap at The University of Georgia. She has battled anxiety, restraining her sarcasm, and being too short to ride roller coasters her entire life. Take it away, Katie! Editor's note: Kinda intense/deep post, we recommend listening to the soothing sounds of Enya while reading. It hasn’t been until recently, and by recently I mean in the past 48 hours, that I’ve gotten excited about graduation. I get to take pictures, I get to see my grandma and I get all sorts of cash from family members to party and spend time with my family. My bff is graduating as well and our families are going to do a brunch together. We're white girls, sooooo brunch is a pretty big deal and cause for massive amounts of excitement. Plus, I’m not going to have any more exam-induced break-outs, thank god. It’s all going to be great. Oh but here’s the thing, aside...
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Sunday Demons

Picture this...It's Sunday morning, you just got done with a Friday/Saturday bender after swearing you weren't going out this weekend. UNLEASH THE DEMONS! The Sunday demons that is. You know the Sunday demons. That little pit in your stomach you feel but you're not really sure why. THAT my friends, is the Sunday demons. Sundays have the oddest dynamic of any day of the week. You can do whatever you want because there's no work, but you can't, because...you have work tomorrow. If it rains on a Sunday, take everything I'm about to say and multiply it by infinity, we're all goners. "Moral Hangovers" are infinitely more miserable than physical hangovers. Did you text your ex at 3am saying "I miss you" or "you have no idea what you lost you filthy bitch" while crying yourself to sleep? Did you wake up with an empty pizza box next to your bed with ranch and crumbs all over your face? It's cool, OUR...
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We, Are Never, Ever, Everrrr Getting Back Together: My Breakup With Corporate America

It’s 10 a.m., and I have yet to put pants on today. Why? Because I don’t have to for the time being. I have embarked on an exciting, terrifying, and fulfilling adventure of working for myself full-time.  How’d we get here? I’m not really sure… this is how I remember it. College ended…which basically meant MY world ended.  Eff you world! During college, I figured I’d get an awesome job at some cool tech company when I graduated. I’d get to work on a ton of cool projects, win them multiple company softball championships, and be CEO in about a year. Not really… but I figured I would at least find a job that didn’t make me miserable. Now, I’m sure 99% of people my age, at some point or another, have said some variation of “I am not meant to work a normal 9-5” or “I just can’t sit at a desk for 8 hours a day for the rest of...
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Shawshank Redemption v. Corporate America

This post was inspired by my overly emotional editor, @StephGless, who has a knack for crying, cutting onions getting dust in her eyes at work. She actually loves her job, but her stress levels are a real roller coaster ride...which got me thinking. One of my favorite movies of all time, Shawshank Redemption, is also a loose metaphor for Corporate America/cubicle life. Bear with me if you think that sounds insanely moronic. If you haven't seen Shawshank...I feel bad for you...go watch it now, I'll wait here. Before we move on, I want it to be known, I was extremely ecstatic when I was offered my first full time job. I felt like a grown up who was ready to take over the world. I know some people would kill for a job they hate due to financial reasons. However, I quickly learned and realized that sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day was not for me. It felt like a punishment...
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An Ode To GChat

Sweet beloved GChat, you are everything. You've gotten me, and others I'm sure, through many a tough time. You've done so with little to no thanks or recognition. For that, I apologize. Stand up, GChat, take a bow. While working for "the man" GChat was one of the only things that kept me sane. As soon as my computer booted up it was straight to Google, which began an 8 hour long cat and mouse game between me and my bosses. At this point, if it's not blocked at the office, I think it's a fair assumption that 99% of people are on GChat at some point during the day.  I'm a helluva multitasker, so it never really got in the way of my work. GChat is like steroid use in baseball. Everyone does it but no one really talks about it. Just don't get caught and you're fine. If you're not doing it (steroids or GChatting that is), everyone assumes you are...
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