Runway Laps and Thigh Gaps

Pop Culture , , ,

Saddle up folks, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show is back in action tomorrow! The music, the pageantry, the breasts, the butts, the Angels…all of it. Let’s all get in the mood with some acoustic Bieber from last year’s show. Enjoy…

As much as we hate to admit it…Bieber kinda killed it. Drop the mic, Justin. Honorable mention to the sketchy dude in the vest playing the guitar at the beginning!

Now, the VS Fashion Show serves many purposes and causes many different reactions/emotions.  It’s informative, entertaining, sexual, depressing, ridiculous, outrageous, mesmerizing, vain, comical and plain ol’ American! Twitter pretty much explodes during the show, even making it educational. What a well rounded event!

For example, I had no idea thigh gaps were so important to women. I mean, if your thighs don’t touch, you don’t have to worry about chafing, and leap frog is probably a little bit easier, but besides that…is it really THAT important? Leading up to the show, every girl undoubtedly makes a joke, Tweets, or tells a friend something along the lines of, “OMG Sally, I am like NOT eating a thing ALL week because these VS Angel betches are all so effing skinny. And their thigh gaps… UGH. Thigh gaps are SO fetch.” Girls have their VS Fashion Show viewing parties, sipping wine, talking about their woman crushes (“OMFG, I’d like totally go lesbo for Adriana Lima, wouldn’t you?” “Totes.”), secretly, or not so secretly, being depressed about their own bodies in comparison to the models and vowing to start a new diet tomorrow.

Don’t worry girls, if a guy is lucky enough to be in the same room with a girl in her underwear, they aren’t worried about the stuff you think they are. We are genuinely so appreciative and excited that a girl has agreed to be alone in the same room with us – half naked – that we aren’t seeing straight anyways. Seriously, it’s like if you’re standing on a frozen lake and the ice starts to crack and everyone yells DON’T MOVE A MUSCLE. Same principle, if there is a half naked girl in the room DON’T…MOVE…A…MUSCLE and maybe she’ll stay like this.

I think we can all agree that guys watch for very different reasons… with very different motives. We watch to see half naked women walking around in outrageous underwear. Our minds also wander to very different places… I know you can’t actually buy most of the absurd crap the models are wearing, but what if you could? I mean, taking off a bra is one thing, but what if we had to remove your wings before sex? What if a girl took off her shirt and pants and was wearing a full on peacock outfit equipped with feathers, and we were expected to remove that. I’d leave. AHAHAHAHA, totally kidding, I wouldn’t leave…what am I, crazy?

I particularly like the behind the scenes stuff of the models, when they are acting goofy and stuff. Why? Because for those few seconds, they seem like normal human beings that I could actually interact with and maybe get an OTPHJ from. When they are walking down the runway, they are not human, and I avoid direct eye contact at all cost. NEVER LOOK A VS MODEL DIRECTLY IN THE EYES!

We’ll be live Tweeting the whole event on Tuesday, so make sure to follow us on Twitter, or make sure to unfollow us before then! We’ll close with some runway bloopers. See, models ARE human!

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