Picture this…It’s Sunday morning, you just got done with a Friday/Saturday bender after swearing you weren’t going out this weekend. UNLEASH THE DEMONS! The Sunday demons that is. You know the Sunday demons. That little pit in your stomach you feel but you’re not really sure why. THAT my friends, is the Sunday demons.

Sundays have the oddest dynamic of any day of the week. You can do whatever you want because there’s no work, but you can’t, because…you have work tomorrow. If it rains on a Sunday, take everything I’m about to say and multiply it by infinity, we’re all goners.

“Moral Hangovers” are infinitely more miserable than physical hangovers. Did you text your ex at 3am saying “I miss you” or “you have no idea what you lost you filthy bitch” while crying yourself to sleep? Did you wake up with an empty pizza box next to your bed with ranch and crumbs all over your face? It’s cool, OUR diet starts tomorrow. Did you wake up next to a heinous, heinous human being and make up an outrageous excuse to get rid of them? “No, it’s cool, it’s great that you’re flying to Cambodia to help build a school and that your flight leaves in 20 minutes so you need me to wait outside for a cab. Call me when you get back!!!”

Sundays are cool for a few reasons…but not that cool….don’t let them fool you.

– It’s cool because you don’t have to do anything usually, but it sucks because you have work the next day. Before quitting my corporate gig last year. I would legit dreaddddddd going back to work where I knew I was going to be miserable for another 40 hour work week.

– It’s cool because it rhymes with “funday” which makes for an excellent #hashtag, but it sucks because you have plenty of time to think about the stupid stuff you did the night before. The worst people in the world are the “do you remember” people. Hey, do you remember when you did that completely embarrassing thing in front of all those people!? No, I didn’t…until just now…but thanks for reminding me!!

– It’s cool because there is an awesome line up of TV on HBO and Shotime butttttt don’t stay up too late or you’ll be a yawning zombie come Monday morning.

– It’s cool because you can do all your errands to get ready for the week. You’ll go grocery shopping, clean your place, do your laundry and go to Target…butttttt that never really happens and you end up on your couch under a pile of takeout containers. I didn’t go out at all this past weekend and ACTUALLY accomplished a great deal of chores on Sunday. So, to let you know, there is hope.

Thank the good lord for NFL football on Sundays to help combat these demons. What do you normally do on Sundays? Cry under the covers? Drink til you don’t feel anymore? Panhandle for Xanax? Let me know in the comments or tweet me @DannyWeiner.

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