We, Are Never, Ever, Everrrr Getting Back Together: My Breakup With Corporate America

Corporate America , , ,

It’s 10 a.m., and I have yet to put pants on today. Why? Because I don’t have to for the time being. I have embarked on an exciting, terrifying, and fulfilling adventure of working for myself full-time.  How’d we get here? I’m not really sure… this is how I remember it.

College ended…which basically meant MY world ended.  Eff you world!

college

During college, I figured I’d get an awesome job at some cool tech company when I graduated. I’d get to work on a ton of cool projects, win them multiple company softball championships, and be CEO in about a year. Not really… but I figured I would at least find a job that didn’t make me miserable. Now, I’m sure 99% of people my age, at some point or another, have said some variation of “I am not meant to work a normal 9-5” or “I just can’t sit at a desk for 8 hours a day for the rest of my life.” You’ve said that, haven’t you? No, seriously… I know you have, quit fuckin’ lying.  It’s ok… I said it a lot.

After working for a Fortune 500 company for almost 3 years, I learned a great deal. I learned about myself, I learned about corporate politics (which I hate), I learned a great deal about what I was good at and a great deal about what I wanted to do and what would ultimately make me happy.  I also, perhaps most importantly, learned what really sucks and what made me really miserable.

I was working 40 hours a week for my company, which meant I was miserable for about 35 hours a week. Lunch could never make me miserable. I worked with cool, intelligent people for the most part. They were nice to me for the most part, however, about a year into the job, after I was not allowed to make decisions regarding the department I was running, I gave up a little. Creative Danny died…

RIP Creative Danny. You were a vibrant individual with a lot of passion.

RIP

Shortly after that, something interesting happened. I was approached by a friend of a friend who needed some social media consulting for a small business of theirs. Creative Danny rose from the dead. It’s a miracle! Not only was I getting to work on cool stuff again, but I was actually looking forward to getting home from my full-time job, so I could put in a couple hours of work a night. Granted, I was a zombie, but I was somewhat reenergized, so it was worth it.

Looking back, it is shocking that I stayed with my old company for almost 2 more years. I knew nothing would change, but my bills were being paid, I was living where I wanted, and I was able to afford everything that I needed.

I would apply and interview for new jobs, while I was working full time, but in the back of my mind I usually thought, “Do I even want this job?” I liked the idea of working for myself, so, what was I to do? Remember when I said lunch could never make me miserable? Well, I was eating at a local sandwich shop by my office, Rising Roll, about 3 times a week.  Naked chicken on multi grain with light mayo, lettuce and a slice of cheddar…. just in case you were wondering. Don’t lie, you were curious. One day, I decided I would check out their Facebook page, and what did I find!?!?! Nothing. It was there, but extremely inactive. So, I sent a very quirky email to their COO with no real expectations.   I told him they were missing a big opportunity to interact with their clients.

Well what do you know, he agreed and invited me to lunch…. at Rising Roll (free lunch, score!) to discuss what could be done. Two weeks later, I’ve got a formal proposal and signed contract to start working with them on a freelance basis. Daniel Weiner Consulting (not yet LLC) had its first client!!!! Hurray!!!! We’re rich not even close to rich!!!

The biggest roadblock I ran into is the fact that I am one of those weird people who actually cares what my parents think and really value their opinion. I know, barf. I am extremely close with my parents, especially my mother.  While unnecessary, I want her to be on board with a vast majority of my decisions, which often times is quiiiiiiiite inconvenient. She is a stereotypical Jewish mother and believed I shouldn’t do anything until I found another job. Damnit Mom, just tell me to quit!

Ma-the-meatloaf

She was right, and I am glad I waited for many things to fall into place. I was still able to leave on my own terms, which was one of the most incredibly empowering feelings I’ve ever had.

After 9 bosses, numerous unfulfilled promises, and a general lack of respect for me, I decided I could no longer do it.

So here I am, Daniel Weiner of Daniel Weiner Consulting LLC, Editor of nopantstowork.com, ready for action and to see what 2013 has in store.

 

11 thoughts on “We, Are Never, Ever, Everrrr Getting Back Together: My Breakup With Corporate America

  1. OMG!!! I love it!!! Little Danny his own boss! This is great. I’m bookmarking you. I need to hear something new everyday since lunch was never awful, I’m going to consider that a HUGE compliment…LOL!!!

    Tara 🙂

  2. Sarcastic yet instructive. Manic yet relatable. Typical yet serendipitous. This blog has me weak in the knees.

    Well done… and congrats on having the proverbial ‘balls’ to start your own gig. Many wish to, but most don’t. No doubt it will pay dividends down the road.

    Best of luck.

    1. “Sarcastic yet instructive. Manic yet relatable. Typical yet serendipitous.” That is EXACTLY what I was going for. Thanks for noticing 🙂

  3. Catchy title, humorous, best of all…sarcastic. I like it! The answer to your question in my opinion, people grow older, but some never really grow up. Wait a minute, there are also those who lose track of what use to burn within them (not what you’re thinking), their passion in life. They end up just going through the motions of every day life, doing what’s expected. It’s nice to see you taking a different path, one less traveled. It’s hard to step outside of the box, but so refreshing! Wishing you the best Danny, you are off and running!

    1. I don’t think people truly grow up either, we’re all just big kids. The path less traveled has definitely been fun so far! Thanks for reading, Tessy!

  4. Sometimes things are so serendipitous, you know? Facebook brought me here (obviously) and Danny, I’ve had the EXACT same experience over the last five years. I am now two years and a few months into the whole “freelance” thing and let me tell you, it’s awesome. Especially the no pants part.

    Keep up, stay flexible, and know it will change immensely from what your original ideas are. I’m currently doing a mix of freelance writing and social media consulting as well, but it changes with every client and I’m always pushing myself (read: being forced by clients) to learn something new, which is good for me.

    Anyway, good luck Danny! I’d love to chat sometime about your plans and thoughts and whatnot. Mostly because I only really get to talk to the dog during the day.

    http://www.heatherdundon.com
    http://www.modernmouthful.com

    1. Thanks so much, Heather! I appreciate the kind words from someone who has been through the same type situation. I’ll shoot you a message on Facebook and we can figure out how to connect. Thanks for reading!

      1. DAN!!! This site is the Bomb.com!! I am so proud of you lil bro!!
        Everyone can relate to this Weiner…………..

  5. Love it. You make me giggle out loud. And yes, your readers are curious what you like on your sandwich!

    Looking forward to lots more humorous posts about your journey. I know you’re going to do well!!!

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